Visit to his paede yesterday evening gave me a little relief. Throughout the whole day mum told me that Khairin doesnt have fever anymore.....coughing still but not as bad as before.
Ard 8pm we reached the clinic. Lucky we are 3rd in the list, if not....I cant imagine how long we got to wait. Upon seeing us, Dr Foo commented u look cheerful today....Yeah my baby darling looked very much better.
She checked Khairin and said, good, got progress out of danger already. But he still need to be puff with the ventolin. But the great news is that, starting from today, he doesnt need to be puff during the night sleep, just do it during the day and the last one will be at 10pm. Alhamdulillah, that was great news to me. At least I dont have to disturb him from his sleep, seeing him tersenggok-senggok when I wanted to place the chamber to his mouth. But upon seeing that monster chamber, mata member terbeliak.com...*lol*
Dr Foo gave next appointment on Monday to see if by the time, Khairin can go completely without puffs. I know and believe that my son can do it....Insya'Allah.
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You
The above wordings I dedicated to my one and only beloved son,
Ahmad Nur Khairin B Md Khalid
I wasnt prepared for this to happen to him. But I know it was part of my negligence that he suffered now. To recap the moment I found out that I was pregnant, after numerous tries, I never once took care of my diet. I love and can never live without coke. And all I could remember I avoided that drink during my first trimester and after passing thru the so called critical stage in pregnancy, I drank coke almost everyday. And due to this matter, I always monitor what hes being feed with. So far, I see thats hes ok and his diet are all suitable for kids of his age. But Im sad when some people who doesnt know abt this, kept feeding him with foods that hes not suppose to eat....And will always say..."Alah takper buat obat"
Now, this happen. Khairin's cough doesnt seem to go away, its almost a month, went to 2 different clinics and finished the whole medication including the antibiotics but it just went away for few days and he started coughing again. Then last thursday, he got high fever and luckily I had the paracetamol syrup on standby and gave him every 4hourly. And on Friday, it shot up to 38.3 deg that I decided to bring him back to the clinic. Since it was P/H, I got to bring him to the 24 hrs clinic. Temperature taken and it showed 41.5....OMG. The doctor scolded me for giving him fever medications 4hrly cos it may overdose him....I was angry and and at same time shocked. Angry cos, I gave him the medications as prescribed by the dr, to give him 4hrly if I monitor the temp to be high....and shocked cos by doing that I may overdose my darling son.
I was confused and in the end, he decided to insert the bullet. Khairin was screaming like hell and only Allah knows what I felt, it was blank. I only want him to get well thats all. So one whole day I stayed at mums place, she assisted me to take care of Khairin.....Seeing his state I was so down....I kept lying beside him.
On sat, seeing his that hes ok, I proceeded with the plan to shift some of my things to my sis place. I needed to clear my home for the big event. Hub decided that we put Khairin under his parents side and I obliged even though I was not confident. Why I said so, if Khairin is there, during the period that hes on medication, he will miss that. They told me that they tak sampai hati tgk Khairin nangis mcm tu sekali. In my heart, he will definitely cry, but we have to force, if not how to get well, we can always pacify him balik as long as the medications go down his throat. So when hub suggested that, I told him, I dun care, what I know Khairin will eat his medicine, dia nangis mcm rumah nak roboh ke, I know he swallow every single drop of it. Hub promised me that he shall explain it to them.
Alhamdulillah, when its cycle for his medicine, I was there to feed him myself. One funny thing abt this boy, whenever he sees me out from the kitchen, he will peek at my hand, and if he saw me with the little syringe, he will quickly crawl backwards...*lol*
Then came Sunday, everything was normal during the day. But during these few days, what I noticed he will always run a temp at night. Sometimes burning hot that I could feel it penetrates to my skin. In the middle of night, I will sponge him and made him sleep by my side and kept stroking his back with lullabys till he slept.
On Monday morning, after sending him to my mums place, mum told me to bring him to this paede. I thought of going later evening but seeing his state, I guess better go dun wait anymore. Decided to declacre my own leave, and that will be urgent leave. I know they will not be happy but Im doing this because Im his mum. Once reach we were the first patient. Dr Foo, asked me lots of q and why I didnt bring him earlier since his cought was long. I said that I always finish work late and by the time I came back, to rush to the clinic was so the tkdemasa. She then told me to follow the nurse together with Khairin to the other room for the nebulizer. I was stunned. It was placed near his chest to help clear the airway. It took around ten minutes and after that, back to the doctors room.
Dr Foo checked on him and said, it was better and told me to take him for a walk and come back again in 20 minutes. If hes all alrite then they dont have to do another round. Alhamdulillah after the 20 mins he was still ok but Dr Foo need us to give him the puffs at home. My knees was getting weak. Dr Foo taught mum how to do it and she emphasise, even if he cry, let him cry, this thing has to be done.
So at home I could see that hes breathing was so fast that I kept seeing tears from his eyes. He looked at me straight into my eyes and all I could do was cry together with him. It got worse when we tried to let him take the puff. He cried so hard that I cried with him. Whenever he saw me coming with the chamber, he turned his face and cried. I got to force ourselves and I know it was hard for him. After we completed each cycle, I will kiss him and apologise. I make sure, I wake up in the night when its time for his puff or medicine. I am responsible for everything.
After all this incident, I talked to hub that, for all this while, I have tolerated alot of negligence from either myself or others. But after this, Im gonna be more firm. Im gonna protest if I know the food is gonna be harmful to him. May Allah gives me the strength to overcome all this.
For my baby son, Mama am really sorry. I dun mean to hurt you. Get well soon.
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You
The above wordings I dedicated to my one and only beloved son,
Ahmad Nur Khairin B Md Khalid
I wasnt prepared for this to happen to him. But I know it was part of my negligence that he suffered now. To recap the moment I found out that I was pregnant, after numerous tries, I never once took care of my diet. I love and can never live without coke. And all I could remember I avoided that drink during my first trimester and after passing thru the so called critical stage in pregnancy, I drank coke almost everyday. And due to this matter, I always monitor what hes being feed with. So far, I see thats hes ok and his diet are all suitable for kids of his age. But Im sad when some people who doesnt know abt this, kept feeding him with foods that hes not suppose to eat....And will always say..."Alah takper buat obat"
Now, this happen. Khairin's cough doesnt seem to go away, its almost a month, went to 2 different clinics and finished the whole medication including the antibiotics but it just went away for few days and he started coughing again. Then last thursday, he got high fever and luckily I had the paracetamol syrup on standby and gave him every 4hourly. And on Friday, it shot up to 38.3 deg that I decided to bring him back to the clinic. Since it was P/H, I got to bring him to the 24 hrs clinic. Temperature taken and it showed 41.5....OMG. The doctor scolded me for giving him fever medications 4hrly cos it may overdose him....I was angry and and at same time shocked. Angry cos, I gave him the medications as prescribed by the dr, to give him 4hrly if I monitor the temp to be high....and shocked cos by doing that I may overdose my darling son.
I was confused and in the end, he decided to insert the bullet. Khairin was screaming like hell and only Allah knows what I felt, it was blank. I only want him to get well thats all. So one whole day I stayed at mums place, she assisted me to take care of Khairin.....Seeing his state I was so down....I kept lying beside him.
On sat, seeing his that hes ok, I proceeded with the plan to shift some of my things to my sis place. I needed to clear my home for the big event. Hub decided that we put Khairin under his parents side and I obliged even though I was not confident. Why I said so, if Khairin is there, during the period that hes on medication, he will miss that. They told me that they tak sampai hati tgk Khairin nangis mcm tu sekali. In my heart, he will definitely cry, but we have to force, if not how to get well, we can always pacify him balik as long as the medications go down his throat. So when hub suggested that, I told him, I dun care, what I know Khairin will eat his medicine, dia nangis mcm rumah nak roboh ke, I know he swallow every single drop of it. Hub promised me that he shall explain it to them.
Alhamdulillah, when its cycle for his medicine, I was there to feed him myself. One funny thing abt this boy, whenever he sees me out from the kitchen, he will peek at my hand, and if he saw me with the little syringe, he will quickly crawl backwards...*lol*
Then came Sunday, everything was normal during the day. But during these few days, what I noticed he will always run a temp at night. Sometimes burning hot that I could feel it penetrates to my skin. In the middle of night, I will sponge him and made him sleep by my side and kept stroking his back with lullabys till he slept.
On Monday morning, after sending him to my mums place, mum told me to bring him to this paede. I thought of going later evening but seeing his state, I guess better go dun wait anymore. Decided to declacre my own leave, and that will be urgent leave. I know they will not be happy but Im doing this because Im his mum. Once reach we were the first patient. Dr Foo, asked me lots of q and why I didnt bring him earlier since his cought was long. I said that I always finish work late and by the time I came back, to rush to the clinic was so the tkdemasa. She then told me to follow the nurse together with Khairin to the other room for the nebulizer. I was stunned. It was placed near his chest to help clear the airway. It took around ten minutes and after that, back to the doctors room.
Dr Foo checked on him and said, it was better and told me to take him for a walk and come back again in 20 minutes. If hes all alrite then they dont have to do another round. Alhamdulillah after the 20 mins he was still ok but Dr Foo need us to give him the puffs at home. My knees was getting weak. Dr Foo taught mum how to do it and she emphasise, even if he cry, let him cry, this thing has to be done.
So at home I could see that hes breathing was so fast that I kept seeing tears from his eyes. He looked at me straight into my eyes and all I could do was cry together with him. It got worse when we tried to let him take the puff. He cried so hard that I cried with him. Whenever he saw me coming with the chamber, he turned his face and cried. I got to force ourselves and I know it was hard for him. After we completed each cycle, I will kiss him and apologise. I make sure, I wake up in the night when its time for his puff or medicine. I am responsible for everything.
After all this incident, I talked to hub that, for all this while, I have tolerated alot of negligence from either myself or others. But after this, Im gonna be more firm. Im gonna protest if I know the food is gonna be harmful to him. May Allah gives me the strength to overcome all this.
For my baby son, Mama am really sorry. I dun mean to hurt you. Get well soon.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Yesterday I didnt went for my netball training, the reason
1) Mum called me to inform that my aunty was admitted to hospital due to batu karang, got to do immediate surgery. May u have a speedy recovery....
2) The week of the month is still not ard to visit me.....Im afraid that I might exert myself, so before anything goes wrong and Im gonna regret forever, beta pause.
what hes capable to do at 11mths :-
* understand simple intructions ; like when I said "no", he will move back look at me and shake his head (got to depend on his mood also)
* plays peek a boo with those whos hes familiar with
* when I said "pls give mama", he will give me the things that he has in his hand
* after finishes the stick biscuit, he will point at the cabinet and mumble...uuhhh..uhhhh..(only certains times can hear him say...ak = nak)
* can kiss people but with his mouth open and saliva will be spread onto the face....complete with turning peoples cheek left/right with his hand
and one new thing I witnessed today, when I was leaving for work, I gave him my hand, and he held my hand, put it towards his mouth...yeah!!! he knows how to salam, cos seconds before I gave him my hand, he saw Ilham salam his mother....
I kept kissing him and wanted him to try again.....but I tink in his heart...well..its only once per person, Im done with u, wait long², u tink im a clown is it....*lol*
1) Mum called me to inform that my aunty was admitted to hospital due to batu karang, got to do immediate surgery. May u have a speedy recovery....
2) The week of the month is still not ard to visit me.....Im afraid that I might exert myself, so before anything goes wrong and Im gonna regret forever, beta pause.
what hes capable to do at 11mths :-
* understand simple intructions ; like when I said "no", he will move back look at me and shake his head (got to depend on his mood also)
* plays peek a boo with those whos hes familiar with
* when I said "pls give mama", he will give me the things that he has in his hand
* after finishes the stick biscuit, he will point at the cabinet and mumble...uuhhh..uhhhh..(only certains times can hear him say...ak = nak)
* can kiss people but with his mouth open and saliva will be spread onto the face....complete with turning peoples cheek left/right with his hand
and one new thing I witnessed today, when I was leaving for work, I gave him my hand, and he held my hand, put it towards his mouth...yeah!!! he knows how to salam, cos seconds before I gave him my hand, he saw Ilham salam his mother....
I kept kissing him and wanted him to try again.....but I tink in his heart...well..its only once per person, Im done with u, wait long², u tink im a clown is it....*lol*
Monday, April 10, 2006
Sat, was my working sat and after work, headed back to mum place cos initially hubs plan was to follow bil to car mart . But in the end plan cancelled cos his bike cannot start. Tried to send to the bike shop but this uncle charged him 400+ and will be ready in 3days. Well its not the the shop he always frequent to, bab tu kena ketuk.
So in the end he made up his mind to send it to his normal apek nyer kedai. Was bill 150 and take on the same day itself. Selamat!!!
On Sat evening, went to Al Ma'arif for my normal routine during Maulidur Rasul. And for the first time, I had Khairin together with me. Syukur Alhamdulillah, he was not cranky and he slept peacefully, the lullabys of praising Allah and his Prophet (Muhammad) in a group must be soothing to him.
Reached home by 11.00pm.
Sunday
At 12.30noon, bil came over to our place, to fetch hub for their appointment, where else?? the car mart. Suddenly when hub was leaving, Khairin cried like being abused. He doesnt want to let go of hub and cried soo much that I was kinda pissed off too. Well even before that, incidents happened and I dun wish to eleborate on that. So in the end, hub decided that we came along and nasib baik all Khairin's things are ready, cos I initially planned to go Pasir Ris first and wait for hub there. But plans semua kena tolak tepi.
We reached Car City by 1.30 and mata ku pun sunggugjahat.com Kept pointing to hub, oh that car or this car....*lol* but to owe one by ourself, its definitely not now. So kita berangan jer lah....Aniways, leh pinjam ngan bil....kan...kan...kan...Atau nak kira sewa gak eh.....Common its for Khairin's usage also.....Hahaha....
So bil decided on Mitsubishi Lancer....Not the sports type cos its out of budget....Takperlah asalkan ada keta leh jln...dah cukup.
Next we were send to Mil place. Spend the day there and Khairin was on his excellent mood there...No crying....only giggles. Once we step inside, while I was removing his socks, he kept getting down from the sofa and pointed at the cabinet where nyai place his toys.....
From there, after maghrib, we made our move to Ipoh Lane. And by 11.30 we reached home, washed up and off to sleep. Khairin slept till morning....Baik anak mak eh.....
So today, will be last day to baca maulud, and I gonna miss this atmosphere again. And 23 Rabiulawal 1427 (22.04.2006), will be Khairins first year in Ismalic calendar. How fast time flies....
To all my bloggermates and readers...Selamat Menyambut hari keputeraan buat Nabi junjungan kita Muhammad S.A.W.
So in the end he made up his mind to send it to his normal apek nyer kedai. Was bill 150 and take on the same day itself. Selamat!!!
On Sat evening, went to Al Ma'arif for my normal routine during Maulidur Rasul. And for the first time, I had Khairin together with me. Syukur Alhamdulillah, he was not cranky and he slept peacefully, the lullabys of praising Allah and his Prophet (Muhammad) in a group must be soothing to him.
Reached home by 11.00pm.
Sunday
At 12.30noon, bil came over to our place, to fetch hub for their appointment, where else?? the car mart. Suddenly when hub was leaving, Khairin cried like being abused. He doesnt want to let go of hub and cried soo much that I was kinda pissed off too. Well even before that, incidents happened and I dun wish to eleborate on that. So in the end, hub decided that we came along and nasib baik all Khairin's things are ready, cos I initially planned to go Pasir Ris first and wait for hub there. But plans semua kena tolak tepi.
We reached Car City by 1.30 and mata ku pun sunggugjahat.com Kept pointing to hub, oh that car or this car....*lol* but to owe one by ourself, its definitely not now. So kita berangan jer lah....Aniways, leh pinjam ngan bil....kan...kan...kan...Atau nak kira sewa gak eh.....Common its for Khairin's usage also.....Hahaha....
So bil decided on Mitsubishi Lancer....Not the sports type cos its out of budget....Takperlah asalkan ada keta leh jln...dah cukup.
Next we were send to Mil place. Spend the day there and Khairin was on his excellent mood there...No crying....only giggles. Once we step inside, while I was removing his socks, he kept getting down from the sofa and pointed at the cabinet where nyai place his toys.....
From there, after maghrib, we made our move to Ipoh Lane. And by 11.30 we reached home, washed up and off to sleep. Khairin slept till morning....Baik anak mak eh.....
So today, will be last day to baca maulud, and I gonna miss this atmosphere again. And 23 Rabiulawal 1427 (22.04.2006), will be Khairins first year in Ismalic calendar. How fast time flies....
To all my bloggermates and readers...Selamat Menyambut hari keputeraan buat Nabi junjungan kita Muhammad S.A.W.
Friday, April 07, 2006
I dun wanna tink about it, it doesnt concern me, and y should I bother my brain to tink, but I know I still got to tink about it...
And on the 1oth confirm leaving....I was like, oh dear...hello, within short notice?? I cant be bothered lah, u are all adults, can tink for yourself, all I can say bon voyage and ingat-ingatlah orang pat sini....especially without them, we do not exist.
Weekend is coming, bil needs hubs assistance....nak beli keta....Alhamdulillah...leh kita sewa eh tuk merounding.....*lol*
Orait take care peepz and have a great wkend.
And on the 1oth confirm leaving....I was like, oh dear...hello, within short notice?? I cant be bothered lah, u are all adults, can tink for yourself, all I can say bon voyage and ingat-ingatlah orang pat sini....especially without them, we do not exist.
Weekend is coming, bil needs hubs assistance....nak beli keta....Alhamdulillah...leh kita sewa eh tuk merounding.....*lol*
Orait take care peepz and have a great wkend.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
My nephew really gave us an April Fools joke....Well just kidding. What actually happened was, he, Ilham was hospitalised a day before his neneks birthday. Hes having this asthma history and my sis tried her very best bringing him to family doc including the 24 hrs clinic in the wee hours, just hoping that the asthma could go off with the help of the assistance at the clinics but they cant do anything.
He was referred to NUH but sis sent him to KKH instead. Poor Ilham, he was so down and refused to be warded. We had to really play part in assuring him that everything is gonna be alright.
Since hub was on duty on Sat, I stayed at the hospital all the way. By 8 we moved off, dh kena halau nyer pasal...*lol*
On Sun, hub came back to mums place cos I spent the night there. It was my mums 48th birthday. Seriously, we didnt get any cakes cos mum requested that she doesnt want any for this year cos she wants to go dating with dad....*ewah² bukan main lagi* but since Ilham was hospitalised all plans cancelled. By 3pm, we headed to the hospital, and Ilham was cheerful again. Alhamdulillah the intervals for puff is 3hrly, meaning he just need to maintain till he can stand up to 4hrly per puff then hes allowed to be discharge.
This year round, we celebrated my mums bdae in the hospital in the end. Luckily bil bought a cake for mum and in the end we sang her a birthday song in the ward (nasib at that time only 3 patient in the room). Mum was surprised and kept telling us not to sing any bdae song cos dia takut jadi salah pulak...nanti kena chase out....
And for this year I & hub got her the I-pamper....Hope u like it mum...
Happy belated 48th birthday to my loving mama, Hajah Edah Binte Haji Yunan...Semoga dipanjangkan umur, dimurahkan rezeki dah dianugerahkan dgn kesihatan untuk jaga cucu² lagi...*lol*
I love u mama.....
He was referred to NUH but sis sent him to KKH instead. Poor Ilham, he was so down and refused to be warded. We had to really play part in assuring him that everything is gonna be alright.
Since hub was on duty on Sat, I stayed at the hospital all the way. By 8 we moved off, dh kena halau nyer pasal...*lol*
On Sun, hub came back to mums place cos I spent the night there. It was my mums 48th birthday. Seriously, we didnt get any cakes cos mum requested that she doesnt want any for this year cos she wants to go dating with dad....*ewah² bukan main lagi* but since Ilham was hospitalised all plans cancelled. By 3pm, we headed to the hospital, and Ilham was cheerful again. Alhamdulillah the intervals for puff is 3hrly, meaning he just need to maintain till he can stand up to 4hrly per puff then hes allowed to be discharge.
This year round, we celebrated my mums bdae in the hospital in the end. Luckily bil bought a cake for mum and in the end we sang her a birthday song in the ward (nasib at that time only 3 patient in the room). Mum was surprised and kept telling us not to sing any bdae song cos dia takut jadi salah pulak...nanti kena chase out....
And for this year I & hub got her the I-pamper....Hope u like it mum...
Happy belated 48th birthday to my loving mama, Hajah Edah Binte Haji Yunan...Semoga dipanjangkan umur, dimurahkan rezeki dah dianugerahkan dgn kesihatan untuk jaga cucu² lagi...*lol*
I love u mama.....
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Khalindah, your true color is Blue!
You're blue — the most soothing shade of the spectrum. The color of a clear summer sky or a deep, reflective ocean, blue has traditionally symbolized trust, solitude, and loyalty. Most likely a thoughtful person who values spending some time on your own, you'd rather connect deeply with a few people than have a bunch of slight acquaintances. Luckily, making close friends isn't that hard, since people are naturally attracted to you — they're soothed by your calming presence. Cool and collected, you rarely overreact. Instead, you think things through before coming to a decision. That level-headed, thoughtful approach to life is patently blue — and patently you!
Your true color is Blue!
What's Your True Color?
Brought to you by Tickle
You're blue — the most soothing shade of the spectrum. The color of a clear summer sky or a deep, reflective ocean, blue has traditionally symbolized trust, solitude, and loyalty. Most likely a thoughtful person who values spending some time on your own, you'd rather connect deeply with a few people than have a bunch of slight acquaintances. Luckily, making close friends isn't that hard, since people are naturally attracted to you — they're soothed by your calming presence. Cool and collected, you rarely overreact. Instead, you think things through before coming to a decision. That level-headed, thoughtful approach to life is patently blue — and patently you!
Your true color is Blue!
What's Your True Color?
Brought to you by Tickle
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