...TOLERATE...

Tolerable - endurable
Tolerance - willingness or ability
Tolerant - disposed to tolerate others / patient of
Tolerate - allow the existence or occurance of w/o authoriatative interference / be able to take or undergo without harm

Why I was on MC?? Due to the factors above. I cant tolerate, the tolerant of the tolerance as its not tolerable. I also dun know what the hell I merepeks. So if tak faham buat donno ye...My blog kan??

Its wat I have been feeling lately. Ya'Allah only u know what am I thinking now. Working in small firm this is the problem. Working with malays there are the consequences. Im not pointing to all malay organisations out there but this is just what I feel. Its true indeed when people say, "Dah bagus tu ada kerja". Yes and I really bersyukur with the job and post I have now. But money cant buy ppls sweat and time. Dun even say abt money, down here theres no OT claim available.

Straight for the past week, my energy is being perah sekering tidak, and it will happen after 5.30pm. Eh apa are these pest blind or what?? I got new responsibility as a mum. Lately leave office by 7-7.15, journey home really kills me. Upon reaching at mums place, khairin wld be sleeping, then either i eat at mums place or tapao. Mum would ask am i too bz?? Yalah i sent khairin by 7.20am, then after 12hrs of care service masih lum amik2, i pun understand and i sometimes joke with mama, " Kalau childcare agaknya anak i dh kena tunggu depan gate"...Hahaha.

She doesnt mind & at least my dad will get the chance to see khairin cuma dia pun fikir jugak, balik, tido then mrng kuar lagi. Sometimes she offered me to stay there for the nite but I cant. Ntahlah maybe due to the reason, I want to be independent and tau erti hidup berkeluarga. Going home late means no time for my dear khairin. When Im free hes sleeping, when its time for his feeds in the wee hrs, Im like a zombie.

So decided to take MC on tuesday. I really took the chance, played and entertained him the whole day. How I miss him. Husband understands my plight and told me if i cant handle, then let him handle sorang, means lesser time for the family if i decides to resign....No!!! Thats the last resort. Will never leave work to satisfy myself, it will just make matters worst. But sometimes I do envy friends who are SAHM but for me not at the moment. Husband told me to give him about another 3 yrs time..Bila itu time dtg baru leh ckp, for now lips are seal.

Hey people have u ever cried in public and felt lost?? Yup it happened to me and Im really afraid of going thru such depression.....Smsed husband but at that moment he cant be with me as he needs to drive....Its ok. Istifar, and think of Ahmad Nur Khairin, insya'allah it reduces the -ve tots.